Emotional Epilepsy

Epilepsy is a diagnosable condition with measurable symptoms, predictable triggers, and consistent patterns of behaviour. The condition arises from a systemic imbalance. Someone experiencing seizures loses control of themselves and can be dangerous to themselves and others. Treatments are available for many symptoms but the afflicted individual must choose to seek diagnostics, medical intervention, and support.

Emotional dysfunctions are diagnosable conditions with measurable symptoms, predictable triggers, and consistent patterns of behaviour. The condition arises from a systemic imbalance. Someone experiencing an emotional dysfunctional episode, an emotional seizure, loses control of themselves and can be dangerous to themselves and others. Treatments are available for many symptoms but the afflicted must choose to seek diagnostics, medical intervention, and support.

During a seizure, the person with epilepsy may involuntarily strike out at their surroundings, may become blind to dangers, may not be able to consciously safeguard themselves or others. If they were to injure a loved one during an uncontrolled seizure they would likely feel intense guilt and shame at the damage they did. Their loved one would not blame them for the behaviours whilst out of control of their body, yet would hold them accountable for seeking treatment, for creating effective coping strategies, for learning how to manage their outbursts in order to make the relationship safer for both of them. No expectations, only boundaries. If epilepsy goes unmanaged, the support person would be in constant risk.

During an emotional seizure, the person with emotional dysregulation may involuntarily strike out at their surroundings, may become blind to dangers, may not be able to consciously safeguard themselves or others. If they were to injure a loved one during an uncontrolled episode they would likely feel intense guilt and shame at the damage they did.

But that’s where the similarity tends to end, which is why mental illness so often grows, and passes on to another generation, accumulating shame, blame, and guilt with each new seizure.

Mental illness is painful for all who endure it as sufferers, victims, and witnesses. Just like epilepsy. But unlike epilepsy, it gets mistaken for a choice, judged as a lifestyle, and dismissed as unworthy of compassion or empathy. Yet like epilepsy, compassion, empathy and support constitute part of the treatment and are central to managing symptoms.

To support someone through epileptic seizures, you cannot pick and choose which symptoms are epileptic and which are not. You accept the whole and forgive what happens during a seizure, if you choose to interact with the person who is potentially unsafe for you because of their illness. To do otherwise is to judge and that puts imbalance between you. Better to keep boundaries between, not scales, and accept completely or let it be. Only you know if the relationship is worth the risk to your safety. No outsider can tell you that although they may try.

To support someone through emotional seizures, you cannot pick and choose which symptoms are choices and which are illness. You accept the whole and forgive what happens during a seizure, if you choose to interact with the person who is potentially unsafe for you because of their illness. To do otherwise is to judge and that puts imbalance between you. Better to keep boundaries between you, not scales, and accept completely or let it be. Only you will know if the relationship is worth the risk to your safety. No outsider can tell you although they might try.

Understanding epilepsy does not mean excusing the dangers of it or absolving people of the responsibility to manage it. But an informed perspective allows preparation for making a choice when a Moment of decision – stay or go – presents itself. Understanding is the foundation for compassion. Knowledge dispels fear and eases trauma. The wise mind guides decisions once the emotional and judgemental brains quiet down.

Understanding emotional dysfunctions does not mean excusing the dangers or absolving people of the responsibility to manage it. But an informed perspective allows preparation for making a choice when a Moment of decision- stay or go – presents itself. Understanding is the foundation for compassion. Knowledge dispels fear and eases trauma. The wise mind guides decisions once the emotional and judgemental brains quiet down.

Emotional abuse is not ok. But it is understandable. It has patterns, predictable triggers, and treatable behaviours. Hope for stability is what keeps people in abusive situations and hope is a precious, powerful force. To judge either party for having hope is to create greater imbalance while acceptance adds more hope and a sense of a safety net.

Mixed Messages

The exhausting thing about compassion is the ongoing need to dispel confusion arising from people’s misinterpretation of compassion, acceptance and living with only boundaries, not expectations.

Receivers of unconditional compassion can easily mistake it for passion if the sexual alignment fits their orientation. In our society authentic acceptance and profound connection are often only found with romantic partners thus the sensation of acceptance feels like the sensation of romantic love. The incredible joy and gratitude of a Moment’s interaction is confused with the delight and excitement of infatuation.

This is why some people seek romantic love on a regular schedule. Because it truly does feel, in its first blush, the same as enlightenment and stability and satisfaction and joy and hope and gratitude. But with romance, those sensations are derived from an external source and driven by expectations and fantasies. Compassion is a necessary part of true romance but romance is not a necessary part of compassion.

Those individuals with poor understanding of boundaries mistake the openness of acceptance as a merging of souls when in fact souls are not meant to merge, only to bond while retaining independence. When they feel the visceral validation of being seen as enough, as wonderful and complete even in their imbalance and dissatisfaction, they construe it as something they have obtained meanwhile compassion is a generous gift given, not taken, and can only be provided from the safety of boundaries. To accept someone is the ultimate in compassion.

This is why some seek caregiving support on a regular schedule, getting a dose of validation and acceptance which feels, at first blush, like enlightenment but again the sensation is derived from an external source. Compassion is a necessary part of caregiving but caregiving is not necessarily a part of compassion.

Compassion is the ability to offer someone support in their distress in a way that elevates them without cost to them and without gain to the benefactor. Because we are so used to paying a price or receiving payment, it is very uncomfortable for some to receive compassion, as they seek the hidden price tag. Yet others accept compassion expecting strings that they like to pull.

Compassion is an expression of unconditional love but we are conditioned to have bows and ribbons attached to love. Or at least, sexy lingerie. Clearing out the mixed messages so love is not confused with romance or transactions will create a culture of compassion.

Forrest, Dory, and Anna

Want to see what living in the Moment with acceptance and surrender looks like?

Open the box of chocolates with Forrest Gump.

Find Nemo by just letting go with Dory.

And don’t be Frozen, do the next right thing with Anna.

Each of these characters exemplifies living in the Moment. Living in the moment comes naturally in some cases through birth or early exposure, while in other cases adversity brings it on, or a combination of predisposition and outside forces culminates in a mindful approach to life. But that approach faces ridicule, scorn, and judgement in the doing so. Because from the outside looking in, living in the Moment appears abnormal. Idiotic at times. Vulnerable and stupid.

Yet it works. Not because of smarts or knowledge or strength. But because of faith and trust in the balance of the universe. Because Synergy keeps us safe if we let her. Yet to trust someone we can’t see, to believe in something without proof, to walk blindly through the lion’s den is so incredibly risky, so amazingly courageous, that the majority of people can’t fathom it.

So they see delusion where there is faith. Mania where there is joy. Stupidity where there is serenity. And naivety where there is openness.

Until they hit a boundary with their judgement and find tempered glass where they expected plastic film. Or they witness miracles through their jaded lenses when they expected ignominious defeat. Or feel the power of a Moment of resonance and connection when they expected vapid insouciance.

Once you have met a person with Presence, you never forget how it felt to share a Moment with them. You might shake your head and convince yourself no one could possibly be that sincere and authentic and the longer you are out of touch the more you attribute what you felt to fantasy. Until the next time you’re in their Presence and it all comes rushing back to you like you’d never even left.

Yes, there are mental illnesses which share traits with enlightenment and mindfulness. And those who change from living a life immersed in material pursuits to pursuing meaningful Moments are most likely to encounter disbelief and resistance from their acquaintances. Commiseration is validation and if you choose to no longer engage in misery and resistance your decision incidentally feels like judgement to those left behind.

When you embrace surrender and see things like possessions and money as mere tools for exploring your curiosity and understanding, it creates tension in those who seek comfort and stability in material possessions. There is nothing wrong with finding comfort and joy in worldly things. Beautiful objects and places are treasures to be cherished and enjoyed. Fast, powerful cars are sensual feasts to be experienced and fabulous food is meant to be played with. Money is meant to be used to acquire what you need to find your purpose. You can be wealthy and enlightened, in fact enlightenment tends to accumulate valuables because you are attuned to the gifts Synergy scatters around you so immediately recognize the value in things before others do.

Like Forrest Gump, you develop an accidental, incidental wealth as you simply keep running on your path with intention, delight, and faith. Like Dory, you find your way home by looking for the patterns you trust in. And like Anna, you do what feels right, then the next thing that feels right, until all is right.

Children start in this world filled with trust, joy, hope, and curiosity. By age 17 they wear the lenses of the sensory and judgemental minds and no longer use the wise brain they were born with.

Only by regression can we find ascension.

Event Horizon

Human perception keeps us at the ‘equator’ event horizon, taking the long straight path through time and space.

Our perception is as of an event horizon, only moving forward, one Moment at a time. Linear. The tapestry of the universe is being woven ahead of us and the threads in the present tend to follow into the future the established pattern already engaged, so we feel like we are trapped in the present. But change is possible. Patterns can be modified. Small adjustments make massive changes over time and time is limitless ahead of us.

Behind us, the weave is tighter and more well set but fabric is still flexible and subject to manipulation. Yet, to pull and stitch darts in a finished product creates pinches and imbalances. Better to lay it smooth, examine the threads, and then repair the patterns of the future weave. To accept what was, embrace what is, and surrender to what will be with hope and curiosity.

Synergy gives us what we need in our time of need. She sets the weft and we either go under or over. We warp threads do exactly that, wending up and down on our path. We either surrender or resist. We find satisfaction or discontent. Hope or despair. Joy or sorrow. For true balance, every warp thread must alternate between going over the weft thread and then under, in order to establish a secure weave. Each moment is the event horizon, the weft thread to leap or duck.

And when we are ready, she’ll reveal more of the universe to us, broaden our horizon and break through the barrier of our perceptions. Once we trust that we’re on a ‘need to know’ level of awareness, then we get upgraded to a higher clearance rating. With great power comes great responsibility. Knowledge is power. Power is control. Control creates balance…or imbalance.

One thread can anchor an entire tapestry. One thread can support the weave and set the pattern. One thread can be the change by resonating balance and stability. Any one of us can be the thread keeping everything together and every one of our threads is integral to the integrity of the entire fabric.

Drama Queens and Production Kings

The closer an element is to stability, the more reactive it is.

The closer people are to being stable, the more volatile they are.

When something is so close to fruition, so very near fulfillment, the drive for completion is intense. When every new encounter could be the key, every corner turned the final one, of course you are going to wholeheartedly leap into every Moment with the expectation that THIS is the one!

Aye. There’s the rub.

Expectations. Of others. Of self. Of Synergy. Putting the burden on them to be what is needed for stability, rather than trusting that satisfaction is an ongoing long term process of sequential Moments accumulating the necessary energy for stability.

Granted, the passionate person has a greater likelihood of finding their passionate soulmate in one Moment, one first glance, than those with less volatility but the likelihood of false starts and misreads also increases exponentially.

Volatile elements are on a continuum called the Reactivity Series. Not all elements have the same affinity for electrons and so one type of atom can strip the electrons off another type of atom even if it is in a stable bond. This is the nature of elements. It is neither right nor wrong, it simply is the nature of the core structure of each element and the pattern card of how the element interacts with other atoms.

Volatile people can unsettle and unbalance even the most composed of individuals. Personalities so close to stability as to be volatile truly live in the moment, but not in a surrendered, accepting way. Each moment is experienced with passionate immersion but is not balanced upon the scaffold of all previous moments, instead experienced as a stand alone, without antecedents or consequence. The need in the moment strips the available energy, even if only temporary and unintended, and later regretted.

Moments, to be effective, must be lived intentionally or they are simply a missed opportunity. Drama Queens and Production Kings have a handle on embracing the moment but not the intentionality. So close they can taste it but it slips away and they don’t understand why.

So on to the next Moment.

Until they either meet a Noble gas which cannot be perturbed, and learn the resonance of true surrender and acceptance, or they discover their soul mate and stability, or they are forced inside themselves so deeply by trauma they reconnect with their wise mind and it guides them into intentionality.

Judgement and shame are not on any of these roads. We are what we are, our core structure and our coping strategies. Acceptance of that reality is necessary before stability can be attempted.

Volatile elements and volatile people are only a short but energetic leap away from satisfaction. It just has to be done with eyes wide open and blind faith.

Judgement Aside

We are who we are. There is no wrong nor right, good nor evil, bad nor good. There are consequences and fallout from our choices, and those cause balance or imbalance, satisfaction or dissatisfaction.

It is our short circuit which leads us to judge. That is not our role. Our role is to live with curiosity and hope, making choices in the Moment that will bring stability to our elemental personality and joy to our Eternal mind.

If we truly embrace Mindfulness and Enlightenment and follow through to the ultimate understanding of reality, then we have to accept that everything is as it has to be. Which means things we perceive as evil or wrong had to happen…thus they are not wrong, they are an adjustment to compensate for imbalance.

Each person acts to satisfy their needs in each moment. Some people are able to do so without cost to others, while some must do it at the expense of someone else. To shame people for these situations is to work against Synergy, to act in judgement and to take a position of superiority. Hubris.

Humility and acceptance cause no harm if given sincerely. False humility, that which feels hurt when not honoured or respected, is not authentic.

True surrender means being walked upon, being martyred, being vulnerable while still understanding there is purpose to the pain and beauty in the sacrifice.

All who live join Synergy in death, their Eternal consciousness freed from the sensory ties and judgements…and temptations…of reality. No matter what they did on Earth, they will find acceptance and comfort. Every act on Earth is an attempt to refine Datter and balance Matter, not elicit evil or judge worth.

To fight the short circuit, to forsake judgement and condemnation, to be open and vulnerable even to those known to exploit and violate, takes immense courage and faith.

And sometimes merely walking out the door in these uncertain times takes incredible courage and faith.

Courage and faith, and patience, get rewarded with peace and joy, in one lifetime or the next.

Walk with hope and curiosity, faith and courage, joy and happiness, and Synergy walks with you.

Meet Me at Eight

Adding or removing negative electrons from the outermost orbital cloud (the valence shell) is how atoms gain stability. The number of electrons they need to take or give determines their behaviour patterns in chemical reactions, but their patterns are consistent and predictable, occurring at repeated intervals hence the title Periodic (as in happening after a set period) Table!

Almost all elements achieve stability with 8 valence electrons. Helium needs only 2, all other Noble gases have 8 and most other elements want to be just like them.

Humans don’t want to be unstable. Volatile people are attempting to stabilize themselves by interacting with others in the pattern most consistent with their core need to either lift themselves up an energy level or drop themselves down. Just like reactive elements, when exposed to other elements they must react, unless they’ve form a stable bond with an appropriate partner and from that bond feel satisfaction and serenity.

Chemical bonds can form either by transferring negative charges (ionic), or by sharing them (covalent). Both types of bonds can meet the needs of the atoms involved but one type creates independent atoms while the other creates codependent atoms.

Humans can form bonds which allow them to operate independently of their partner, or bonds which require them to be intimately tied to and in close proximity to the one sharing energy.

A stable bond is built when each partner perfectly supports the energy needs of the other – opposite charges. A soulmate is the person who takes you to the energy level you need to be at, up or down, by either receiving what you need to give, or giving what you need to receive. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. When exchange of energy has happened and created balance, the partners are free to be their core selves while sharing their lives.

If sharing energy but not near to each other, the codependent bond loses its stability and the people seek energy from the nearest compatible person. The bond feels strongly connected in person, with any person, in moments together but fades away when farther apart. Out of sight, out of mind. Because balance only is found in moments of connection, the partners are insecure and needy, requiring constant contact for energy sharing. Like attracting like but unable to be stable.

Sharing can be useful and productive but is not sustainable in the long run. True deep connection requires the vulnerability of give and take rather than an overlap of edges.

Schrodinging Everything

Hedge your bets and prepare for all eventualities with the hopes that things will come out hopping when Synergy finally presents the opportunity to open the darn box.

Greeting every day with curiosity, hope and acceptance means being ready for anything in any Moment. Being receptive to whatever springs up on you means you’ll never be disappointed with the chances you didn’t take, the opportunities you didn’t seize or the Moments you missed.

Assume all possibilities are open to you until the moment you know the truth.

This includes options you may perceive as negative. Don’t rule out failure or hurdles…in fact, count on them thus they won’t devastate you. Have Plan A, Plan B, in fact prepare the entire alphabet just in case. The more you understand the parameters and possible outcomes for every decision you face, the stronger your position for satisfaction in a perhaps unexpected form.

We don’t know what is best for ourselves. We don’t know what we need. We often don’t know who we even are, so how can we be certain what is in our best interests?

Synergy knows. But it’s up to us to accept her wisdom and be receptive to her gentle guidance. We blind ourselves with our thoughts and feelings, setting our hearts on things that were never meant to be, because we are trapped in our past or dreaming of our future.

Obstacles, barriers and disappointments are merely rungs on the ladder ascending toward enlightenment and true understanding of self, others, and the universe. Our purpose is to discover our purpose, which can’t be chosen, can’t be predicted, only unveiled.

Every decision has a Moment for making it. Not talking about it. Not planning it. Not dreaming about it. Those are not decisions, those are efforts. Until the Moment of Truth, efforts encompassing all possible outcomes yield the best return on Synergy’s investment in us. So, Schrodinger’s cat is both alive and dead, treat it as such until time to open the box!

Almost in the Moment

Living in the moment is what we were designed to do but the short circuit in our brain coupled with our elemental personality can generate complications! Can make moments that are out of alignment with purpose but still based on the sensation of being in the Now.

Living in the moment with intentionality is the key to finding balance, stability, serenity and joy. Living in the moment but following impulses and urges without understanding where they originated – the judgemental mind or the feeling mind or the wise mind – creates dysfunction and dissatisfaction.

Our elemental personality type, with the need to either drop down an energy level or rise up in energy, feeds our feelings. When not satisfied, we get urges to interact with other people, to use them to meet our needs. That is absolutely fine, it is how we were designed to be, how we live in a society. If we didn’t have needs to be met, we wouldn’t be part of a community in the first place! We would live solitary, isolated lives.

For every person who needs to give away, there is a person who needs to receive. Soulmates who can be fulfilled while fulfilling because just like chemical bonds, pairings meet the objective of completing the unstable shell and bringing satisfaction. Equal and opposite forces bring balance, stability and lasting bonds.

The closer we feel we are to satisfaction, the greater the desire to experience it. The more intense the drive for fulfillment. The more volatile the response to the opportunity to jump up an energy level, or jump down. Because it’s right there, peace and serenity, just within reach, just a Moment away…thus in fact those whose behaviour seems to be the least peaceful are in fact the most ready to take that leap and find stability. But that very volatility gets in the way of making the right leap in the Moment, when fears and doubts cause the opposite to stability.

Need creates vulnerability. Vulnerability generates fear. Fear foments distrust. Distrust breeds resistance. Resistance crucifies Moments.

Trusting ourselves, Synergy, and others is critical to truly surrendering, to living intentionally in the Moment, and to finding satisfaction in personal relationships.

Having Faith

You either have faith, or you do not, in any given moment. It is hard to sustain faith, whether in Synergy, the universe, God or gods, and everyone experiences moments of doubt. Being alive is hard. Interacting with people is exhausting. Experiencing the world can be traumatic. Holding on to faith when it seems there is no purpose or reason for so much apparently senseless pain seems a monumental task.

Faith is the belief in the framework upon which you rest your faith. That framework exists independently of you and indeed independently of human thought at all if you truly believe in the system you subscribe to! Your belief in it does not create it, merely connects you consciously to it. Since it is independent of you, it’ll still be waiting there for you to come to roost when you’ve finished questioning your beliefs.

There are commonalities between many of the frameworks across millennia and geography. This increases the probability that at least one of those frameworks approximates the reality.

Eternal life is certainly a recurring theme.

At least one omnipotent being tends to be central.

Macrocosm reflects microcosm – the god(s) are human-like in behaviour and appearance – is another tenet.

Falliability seems to be common in spite of omniscience.

Either the majority of people on the planet are delusional, or there is someone watching over us! There is great comfort to be found in the idea of surrendering to a higher power, to relinquishing control and responsibility and resting like a child come home to a good mother for a respite. Even good mothers make mistakes and cause harm, but we have to trust that reparation will be offered, restoration will happen, and nurturing will resume.

No matter which framework you embrace, holding on is hard in times like these but hold on we must.